Day6 was comeback today. In early spring when the clouds still grey and cold might catch us, they give me some kind of warmness. Enough with opening, let's talk more about something I really consider this years. Maybe not a good story in english, but I try my best.
So, if 5 years later i'll comeback reading this, please remember this post was actually written when you have done japan course and wanting to work more but need sleep because you need sahur eat some protein. I'll make it fast since what i wanna write is only about how hard i'm when i saw the two option and make a decision right in front of my face in the mean time.
To me, who always thinking about people first, to take a small steps is scary things. Move is gambling. And if I stay, I know I'll die. To me, have a courage to choose whatever i wanna take is never be in my top of mind. I'll probably choose something based on whatever my precious people give an advice. My inner circle. Which means, my family.
But last month, when I have mentally down and take a impulsive chat to ask my parents separately, i just found out they're never push me to do whatever i do today. Then why i need to do this? I asked myself day by day. Why I need to take responsibility when actually i didn't have to?
I start to reframing, what is what and why is why after that. I mean, i think i do this for them, to make them feel glad I actually grown up, I wanna make them happy. But after a long convo they're never what i thought before. The meaningless i felt is validated by them.
So, maybe in the future you'll more sad, or more overthinking, or maybe you more happy than this. I didn't know, but like day6 comeback song today,
The future that you're welcoming with me might be risky
But there might also be tear-filled impassion
I know your decision was not easy
It's my part to make you not regret it
If you're willing
Welcome to the show!
Really hope your heart is fulfilled by the warmness and hugged by person that you love, back to the God and rounded by saleh-salehah, no more hair loss and can eat anything without heavy feeling. Back as happy as a new person. Now you can lean on me, tu. You don't have to take all the things alone. The me in you is brave enough to let go. It's risky I know, but this is the only thing I know to keeping us sane and know what I really passionate. The alarm is ringing......
